Finding out for yourself

One thing I’ve always loved and appreciated about being a member of my church is that we are encouraged to take every doctrine and teaching, and find out for ourselves if it’s true. We are encouraged to pray for answers directly from God, to receive personal revelation from Him for our own lives, and to gain a personal testimony from Him whether or not this church is true. When we read the book of Mormon, we are challenged to ask God, all on our own, if the book is true. We aren’t supposed to just take other people’s word for it. We aren’t supposed to just rely on what our parents believe. We each have the responsibility to nurture our own testimonies and get that witness from God for ourselves. And what’s most amazing of all is that we have the promise that God will answer us directly. I know that may seem far-fetched, crazy, or impossible to some - that God would really answer prayers and speak to us directly. But the thing is, I absolutely know from many personal experiences, that that’s exactly what God does.  

I want to share a small example from my life that happened recently.  

A while back, my church came out with a new policy that made headlines in the news. When I first heard about this, it was through an online article. The article was written by someone who was obviously unhappy about the new policy and it painted my church in a negative light.

I have to admit, when I first read this, I was taken back. I felt confused as to why my church would come up with this particular policy. It gave me pause. It didn’t seem right to me. Why? I wondered. So right away, I closed my computer, and asked God about it directly through prayer. My prayer roughly went something like this:

“Heavenly Father, this policy seems so weird. I’m confused right now and I’m struggling with it. Why would the church come out with this?”

After praying, these words immediately came to my mind:

“It is wisdom in me.”

Simple and clear as that. 

“OK,” I thought. And then the words repeated again:

“It is wisdom in me.”

Not every prayer has come so immediate and clear as this one. Sometimes my answer will come through study of the scriptures or over time when a series of events have unfolded. But this time it was direct and clear, and I instantly felt peace. I now knew that God knew something that I didn’t know and that He was directing the church in His wisdom. And I could trust it because I had received my own witness. 

I’ll end by sharing a quote from the current prophet of my church, President Thomas S. Monson:

“In order for us to be strong and to withstand all the forces pulling us in the wrong direction … we must have our own testimony…Whether you are 12 or 112—or anywhere in between—you can know for yourself that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Read the Book of Mormon. Ponder its teachings. Ask Heavenly Father if it is true. We have the promise that ‘if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.’ ”

Biking up the Mountain

I shared this story a couple weeks ago with the young women I teach at Church. I thought I’d also share it here with you…

This summer, I signed up for a competitive mountain bike race series. I couldn’t wait to compete in my first race a couple weeks ago.

After kissing my husband goodbye and thanking him for putting the kids to bed that night, I was driving the 20+ miles to the race. Shortly into the drive, I hit a massive line of bumper to bumper traffic. After about 15 minutes of creeping along the highway, I began to worry that I would be late.
 

Sure enough, I arrived to the race a minute or two before start time at 6:30 pm. I dismounted my bike and rode like mad to the check in table. To my disappointment, the woman waiting there told me I was too late to receive a bib and timing chip. She did tell me I could, however, still race with everyone, and that they were about to start right now, just up the road around the bend. 

I pedaled as quickly as I could up the gravelly country road. The starting line was much farther  away than I thought it would be. Way up ahead, in the distance to the left, I could see the throng of bikers scattering up the trail toward the mountains. The race had already begun. I chastised myself for not leaving earlier and grumbled that I was so far behind now. But being the competitive person that I am, I was determined to catch up to the group and possibly cross that finish line ahead of a fair chunk of my competitors.  I had six miles of uphill, rocky trail to do it in, after all. 

The ride up was tough. The Wyoming wind was especially strong that day and it beat loudly against me. But I pedaled hard into it, determined to catch up to the group.

Slowly, I began to pass other bikers. At first, it was just kids. Then it was an adult or two. Then I found myself somewhere in the middle of the spread-out group.

At this point, I could see that I had almost reached the top of the mountain. I was shaking with exhaustion and just about spent. My water was about halfway gone, and I was ready to be done, if you know what I mean. 

 A rider who was coming down the trail announced as he greeted us, “You are almost there! Just around the bend!”  I assumed he was a race official.

I was just passing a fellow rider along the trail and asked her, “Does he mean the halfway point or the finish?” 

“I think he said we’re almost there,” she answered, not quite answering my question. 

When I had skimmed over the instructions online, I read that there would be a downhill ride after the uphill– I still hadn’t experienced that yet, so I assumed the guy meant “almost to the downhill” when he told us “almost there."

In renewed strength, I pumped my legs up the rest of that rocky ridge overlooking the grassy valley below. It was a gorgeous view with rocks and trees and the glow of an impending sunset speckled along the hillsides.  I turned the corner around the mountaintop and sure enough, the trail sloped into a long, glorious downhill. At last! This break was much-needed. I whizzed down as fast as I could, bumping over rocks and yelling out whoops and  “Woohoo”s. 

I kept looking ahead and wondering where the other riders had gone. I concluded they probably just went so much faster going downhill that they had sped far ahead of me. After all, there were a few bends in the path and I probably just couldn’t see them.

I pedaled hard and whizzed even faster along the downward slope. The finish line had to be somewhere close down below. I rode and rode, breathing in the wind and enjoying the colorful clouds. 

The next thought that entered my mind came when I noticed the dried, cracked mud I was riding over. It appeared to still hold a small amount of moisture, yet I didn’t see any track impressions. I shrugged it off, assuming that the mud was just too dry to make bike tracks. This had to be the way to the finish line. There hadn’t been any signs to say otherwise. There hadn’t been any break-off trails – just one that had led right down here. 

“Maybe I should see if that rider is behind me,” I thought. 

I didn’t really want to take the time to stop and look behind me, in case she was right on my tail. I still wanted to do my best and finish strong, despite my late start. 

I stopped just long enough to take a quick, sloppy glance over my shoulder. I didn’t see her, and quickly kept riding. “She’s probably taking her time down the slope because she might be afraid of going too fast,” I decided.  

I looked ahead. Away in the distance, the trail curved around a bed. Surely, the finish line would be around that bend. Wouldn’t it? 

The next thought that entered my mind was that I never checked in. Because I was late and didn’t get a bib number, no one at this race even knew I was here. No one knew my name, no one was waiting for me at the end, and no one would know if I got lost. I looked to the west to where the sun was setting. Soon it would be dark. 

Suddenly, an eerie loneliness crept around me. 

Then came, “Stop, Debbie.”

I stopped and looked behind me.  Along the long trail back up to the mountain, I didn’t see a single soul. I was completely alone, far far away. 

I strained my eyes up and down the hillside again and again, looking for any indication of another rider. My eyes caught a glint a little ways down from the top of the mountain. 

I squinted but couldn’t tell what the glint was. Maybe just a rock, maybe a rider coming down the trail, proving this IS the right way?

I really wanted this to be the right way. It HAD to be.

I slowly got back onto my bike and pedaled forward reluctantly. A dark feeling settled around me. Suddenly, I imagined myself riding and riding into the dark, exhausted and without water, trying to find the way back to the trail by myself. 

Would my husband even know how to find me up here if I never came home tonight? 

Again, “STOP. Turn around.”

I stopped and searched for that glint again. This time, it had popped above the brush to reveal that it was a helmet of another rider who wore a red shirt. Although it was hard to see, I felt the impression that the rider was looking at me, waiting for me, wanting me to turn around and follow them. 

Finally, I turned my bike around and faced that long, steep uphill that I had foolishly bombed down, without listening to the repeated promptings to stop. 

Now, with shaking limbs, and barely an ounce of energy left, I began the difficult ride back up.

In between heavy breathes, wobbly handle bar maneuvering, and lugging one leg after the other, I frequently glanced up to catch a glimpse of the rider in the distance. I could barely see their helmet bouncing above the brush.  I didn’t want to lose sight of them. I could feel that they were stopping every now and then to be sure I was coming. There was something so comforting about that distance figure in red– I knew they were watching over me.  The fear of being lost dissipated.  I knew I’d be safe now that I was following them.  

As they continued to guide me out of that pit, the spirit whispered clearly into my heart, “Debbie, that rider is like the Savior.”

I couldn’t help but smile as I pondered this impression. 

There I was having the worst start to my first mountain bike race season, and God sends down an amazing visual of how this unfortunate situation applies to life:

When life becomes an uphill battle, when unexpected trials arise, when our pride or selfish endeavors lead us down a wrong path or when we’ve wandered far away from God, Jesus Christ will always be there waiting patiently, yearning for us to follow Him, and guiding us up the long and difficult road. If we don’t lose sight of Him, if we keep putting one foot in front of the other and following Him, trusting Him, and walking in his footsteps, eventually He will lead us back to safety… Oh ya, and it’s NEVER too late to stop and turn around.

In time, the rider stopped moving  and waited for me at the top of the mountain. Resorting to pushing my muddy bicycle by foot, I finally managed to reach the top and meet the person I couldn’t help feeling had just “saved” me. 

I recognized her as the last woman I had passed. 

After exchanging, “wow”s and things like, “Well THAT was an extra workout!”, she explained that she  had followed me part-way down the mountain, but realizing it was the wrong trail far sooner than me, stopped, and waited to see if I would ever turn around.  

She also explained that the place we were now standing was the point at which we went the wrong way. I looked at the trail and saw that instead of following it downward, I should have curved and gone back around the other side of the mountain top, to where the finish line waited just ahead. 

I had not even seen that the trail curved this way. I had completely missed it. (There also weren’t any signs

After I thanked the woman several times for waiting for me and sharing how much she helped me get back up the mountain, we headed down the trail together, this time going the right way.

On the bumpy road down, I recounted all that had happened. My spirits soared as I neared the end of my descent. The orange sunlight shimmered on a beautiful mountain lake and all across the green countryside. The winding Platte River came into view in the distance and the red rock laced between the grassy mountainside was perfection. My heart was full. How grateful I was to have made it back on the right path so that I could safely return home! 

A snapshot I took on the way home... Gorgeous sunset that night!

Temples

Our Wedding Day, Bountiful, Utah Temple

Palmyra, New York Temple

Washington DC Temple

Fort Collins, Colorado Temple

One distinctive feature of my church is our temples.  We have temples all across the world, from Paris, New York City, Hong Kong, Mexico City, and beyond. In total, there are 155 Mormon temples around the world, with 27 more in the process of being built. Chances are, you’ve either seen or heard of a Mormon temple at some point. 

So why do we have temples? What is their purpose?

In the Bible, it explains how temples were built to worship God. We view temples in the same way today. We build temples to worship God, and to be close to Him. Inside the temple, members make promises to God to keep His commandments.  In return, we believe we receive great blessings from God.

 We view a temple as God’s literal house, where we can go to feel His love and receive guidance from Him. We also get married in the temple because we view marriage as a very sacred and important promise that we make to both God and our spouse. 

Because we view the temple as such a sacred, holy place, there are certain criteria members have to meet to be able to enter inside. These include things like having a testimony of Jesus Christ, keeping commandments such as abstaining from sex until you are married and keeping what’s called the “word of wisdom” (https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/word-of-wisdom) (which is why Mormons don’t drink alcohol or do drugs).

To learn more about Mormon Temples, you can go here: https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/temples

I love the temple. I believe with all my heart that it’s God’s house. I believe with all my heart that He desires all of His children be able to enter there and receive amazing blessings. 

Not only can I witness that these amazing blessings are real and wonderful, but I can also witness that I have received some of the most sacred and needed guidance in my life while inside the walls of the temple.  Many of these experiences are too close to my heart to share, but I do want to tell you about one that changed the course of my life. 

I was just starting college and I was bogged down with confusion and uncertainty. The question I was constantly asking myself was: what career should I pursue? To some, this may not be as stressful of a decision, but for me, it was one of the most difficult. I had so many different passions and interests that I would have loved to make a career out of. How could I narrow it down to just one? What career would lead to a job that I could realistically make a living off of? Should I just pursue the career that would give me the most enjoyment and that I felt the most passionate about? And what about my hope of one day getting married and being able to raise my children at home– how would my career fit into all of that? 

I took a class at college called “career exploration” which took me through a series of personality tests to determine what jobs I’d be best suited for. Along with “author” and “hiking guide”, “NURSE” kept on popping up as a good fit. NURSE?  I’d never seriously considered nursing as a career in the past, partly because I didn’t believe I’d be able to get into the competitive nursing program at my school.  But “hey”, I thought, “why not look into it?”

So, I started to investigate nursing as a career path. I did a lot of studying and asked a lot of questions. Over several months, I got a lot of feedback, and threw all the information I had learned around in my brain.  And it’s at that point that I was terribly confused. I had a LOT of doubts, fears, and further questions. I NEEDED to know if nursing was the right path to pursue.  And I hoped that God would help me find out…

During this time, I decided to attend the temple. I knew that the temple was a place to receive answers to prayers so before I went, I prayed that God would give me an answer and help me to know if I should pursue nursing as a career. I have to admit, I was a little skeptical that an answer so specific would be answered, but I sure hoped that it would. 

I ended up going with some members of my mom’s congregation, since I was visiting home at the time. I didn’t know any of the people I went with beforehand. 

At one point inside the temple, I was sitting quietly and pondering my question, wondering how or if it would be answered. As I was doing this, the woman sitting next to me, who I had gone with that day, turned to me and asked,  “So, what are you studying in school?” “Well, I’m thinking about nursing,” I told her. “OH!” She exclaimed excitedly, “I’m a nurse!” 

For the next several minutes, this dear lady explained all the reasons why she absolutely loved nursing. Not only that, but without knowing, she answered the specific questions and concerns which I’d had  about nursing, word for word. I knew with certainty that God had answered me. 

After that experience, I pursued nursing with full-force and witnessed many doors of opportunity open right up for me in miraculous ways which ultimately allowed me to become a nurse. Almost 10 years later, I am so grateful for the experiences nursing has given me, and especially grateful for that answered prayer that came in the sacred walls of the temple.

The Blessing of Prayer

Prayer has been one of the most valuable blessings in my life. It’s a pretty miraculous gift to be able to communicate with the creator of the universe and know that He really listens, He really cares.

I don’t remember my first prayer, but I do know that my prayers began to be more meaningful during my young teenage years as my testimony and belief system really started to take root. Eventually prayer became a vital part of my life.  I prayed when I felt worried, when I was discouraged, before a test, when I couldn’t find something, when I felt guilty about something I’d done, when a family member was in need, and a million other things.  One by one, my prayers began to be answered. Sometimes the answer was “Wait a little bit, have patience.” Other times, it was: “look for your keys under the couch”, “You are forgiven,” “This is what you need to change in your life,” “Keep trying,” and “I love you.”

 Some answers to prayer have been very direct and specific. Other times though,  I didn’t feel an answer at all until much later when events unfolded and I realized that my prayer had been answered after all.

I won’t lie, there have been times that I’ve felt abandoned by God when answers didn’t come immediately, or when I desperately wanted to hear, “WHALA! You’re trial is hereby taken away at this very moment because you prayed!” and instead heard, “Not yet” or even silence. But in each of those instances, over time, the light shined in and I came to understand why I had needed to wait, or what I had needed to learn while I was "alone". Eventually, the answers did come.

I hope to share some of those experiences in future posts, but for now, I'd like to share just one of the most recent experiences I’ve had with prayer right after my daughter was born.

Taken from my journal dated Sept. 4th, 2016:

"2 days ago, I was having a terrible day. I felt like a truck had run over me - Just so tired, achey, hurting everywhere (I was 6 days post partum P.S.) Anyway, my husband had said a prayer that night with the boys that made me smile. He asked that 'Mommy will feel better and be her happy self again, dancing and skipping around the house.' haha. Well, I forgot all about the prayer, but the next day I felt SO much better! That evening I was so happy that my aches and tiredness were all improving that I found myself dancing in the living room and singing a tune I'd just heard downstairs. My husband looked at me like: what in the world are you doing? 'I just feel like dancing!' I laughed, 'don't you ever just feel like dancing?' Later that night, I suddenly remembered that cute prayer from yesterday and realized that Hey! It came true! What a sweet little miracle!"

Prayer works! I  can say that with absolute confidence! I know that God loves every living soul on earth and cares about each of our worries, cares, and concerns. I know He wants to help. He wants to communicate with us, and prayer is one of those ways that can happen.  Sometimes answers may come in ways we don't expect, but I know He is there, He knows us perfectly, He listens.

To learn more about prayer, you can go here: https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/prayer.

The book that changed my life

A lot of people have probably heard of the Book of Mormon, but what is it exactly? It’s a collection of writings from ancient prophets, just like the Bible. I, and members of my church, believe that God did not only speak to prophets in Bible times, but in other times and places as well. The Book of Mormon is a collection of some of those “other times and places”. Like the Bible, the Book of Mormon is also a testament of Jesus Christ. Because the words also come from God, it goes hand in hand with the Bible. The Book of Mormon answers such questions as: What is the point of life? What happens after I die? Is there something waiting for us after this life? How can I have peace and happiness in this life? Is there life after death, and what’s waiting for us on the other side? Is there a God and does he know me, does he really hear me? How can I become clean of past mistakes? How can I be a better person?

I want to share the experience of when I first read the Book of Mormon all the way through, on my own. I was around 14 and it was an uncertain, rocky time for me. I had so many worries, insecurities, and fears as a young teen. School was always a source of great anxiety as I struggled to make/keep friends and learn how to fit in. At home, due to a variety of different factors, I also experienced anxiety on regular basis. All in all, my self-esteem was very fragile and I doubted my worth. I doubted that I was loved or even worthy of love. In many ways, it was a hard time in my life.

Well then I started to read the Book of Mormon. 

I’d  go to my room, close the door, and in the peaceful quiet, I’d open its pages. Day after day, verse after verse, I read. And something pretty miraculous happened. Every time I escaped to my room and dived into reading, I felt SO LOVED. I could actually feel God’s love wrap around me and tell me that I was important, that He did value me, and that I was His daughter. Peace poured into my heart. This was a love that was consistent and it was always available. All the confusion, inconsistency, and hurt from the outside world melted completely away and I literally felt heaven surround me. It began to give me a confidence, a peace, and a happiness that I couldn’t get in any other way. No matter what was happening at school or at home, or in any circumstance, I now knew that God loved me. I was important to Him.  That truth was the greatest source of strength to me. 

But that’s not the only miraculous thing that happened. I also began to want to truly improve myself. I wanted to be kinder, I wanted to help others more, I wanted to stop watching and listening to certain things that I felt would offend God. I wanted to please Him more than anything. I wanted to always be worthy of that special feeling I got when I read from the Book of Mormon. So I did. I began to improve myself, and that was probably the true beginning of my testimony. 

Still, that was not the only miraculous thing that happened! I also began to pray more and ask God for help with my worries, concerns, and questions. I’d then search through the Book of Mormon to find the answers. And they were there! The answers came time and time again and time and time again, it was repeated to me that God loved me – He even answered my prayers. 

At the end of the Book of Mormon, there is a challenge given by an ancient prophet named Moroni. He challenges anyone and everyone who has finished reading it, to sincerely ask God in prayer if the Book is true. He then promises that they will receive and answer. Here are his actual words:

Moroni 10:4: And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.

Well, after I had finished the book, I decided to take up the challenge, and ask God if it was true -to find out for MYSELF. So I knelt down and I asked. Even before I spoke the words, my mind went back to the countless peaceful moments spent in my room where the spirit had spoken to my heart – told me that Jesus Christ really did die for my sins, that I really was God’s child, that He really did have a plan for me, that the answer to my question was that I needed to do X,Y,Z… I finished up my prayer with the answer I was looking for. I already knew the Book of Mormon was true and the Holy Spirit had reminded me of that. 

I want to end with my testimony that I absolutely believe the Book of Mormon is the word of God, and that it brings the reader closer to God. I would like to extend the challenge to anyone who is searching for truth, searching for God, searching for peace, or searching to know Christ better, to read the Book of Mormon! And after reading it, take the challenge to sincerely ask God, in prayer, if the book is true. He has promised to answer.

To order a free copy, you can go here: https://www.mormon.org/ 

To read online for free, you can go here: https://www.lds.org/scriptures/bofm?lang=eng

To learn more about the Book of Mormon, you can go here: https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/book-of-mormon

Here are just a few of my favorite passages from the Book of Mormon:

Helaman 5:12:  12 And now, my sons, remember, remember that it is upon the rock of our Redeemer, who is Christ, the Son of God, that ye must build your foundation; that when the devil shall send forth his mighty winds, yea, his shafts in the whirlwind, yea, when all his hail and his mighty storm shall beat upon you, it shall have no power over you to drag you down to the gulf of misery and endless wo, because of the rock upon which ye are built, which is a sure foundation, a foundation whereon if men build they cannot fall.

2 Nephi 25:26: And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

Alma 34:32-33: For behold, this life is the time for men to prepare to meet God; yea, behold the day of this life is the day for men to perform their labors.  And now, as I said unto you before, as ye have had so many witnesses, therefore, I beseech of you that ye do not procrastinate the day of your repentance until the end; for after this day of life, which is given us to prepare for eternity, behold, if we do not improve our time while in this life, then cometh the night of darkness wherein there can be no labor performed.

Alma 40:11: Now, concerning the state of the soul between death and the resurrection—Behold, it has been made known unto me by an angel, that the spirits of all men, as soon as they are departed from this mortal body, yea, the spirits of all men, whether they be good or evil, are taken home to that God who gave them life.

Mosiah 4:9: Believe in God; believe that he is, and that he created all things, both in heaven and in earth; believe that he has all wisdom, and all power, both in heaven and in earth; believe that man doth not comprehend all the things which the Lord can comprehend.

Ether 12:4: Wherefore, whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world, yea, even a place at the right hand of God, which hope cometh of faith, maketh an anchor to the souls of men, which would make them sure and steadfast, always abounding in good works, being led to glorify God.

Ether 12:27:And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.

Moroni 9-11, 15: For do we not read that God is the same yesterday, today, and forever, and in him there is no variableness neither shadow of changing? And now, if ye have imagined up unto yourselves a god who doth vary, and in whom there is shadow of changing, then have ye imagined up unto yourselves a god who is not a God of miracles. But behold, I will show unto you a God of miracles, even the God of Abraham, and the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob; and it is that same God who created the heavens and the earth, and all things that in them are… And now, O all ye that have imagined up unto yourselves a god who can do no miracles, I would ask of you, have all these things passed, of which I have spoken? Has the end come yet? Behold I say unto you, Nay; and God has not ceased to be a God of miracles.

I will give you rest

I believe in Jesus Christ. I believe that He came to earth, lived a perfect life, suffered for all of our sins, pains and heartaches, died for all mankind, was resurrected, and lives to this day. These beliefs have given me hope, peace, and much needed help throughout my entire life. I’m a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, which many have nicknamed “LDS” or “Mormons”. I believe with all my heart that my church is led by Jesus Christ Himself. I’ve come to believe these things through a long series of answered prayers, miracles, and moments of peace spoken to my hurting heart. In this blog, I plan to share these faith-building experiences for the purpose of bringing others to Christ and extending the invitation to learn more.

For my first post, I’m going to share a story of when I first truly realized the power of Christ’s *atonement. I was 17 years old and in my first semester of college. For whatever reason, past hurtful experiences were at the forefront of my mind. For the first time in my life, I was really examining them and trying to process it all. I was angry and resentful. I was trying to understand and put every piece of the story into its proper place. I was asking questions like: Has enough been done to make the violator pay? Are they even sorry? I wanted proper payment, even proper suffering. I wanted absolutely fair justice. I felt unsettled, anxious and worried. The weight of it was heavy on my shoulders and I couldn’t process it all. What was I supposed to do?

During this time, I called my mom and tearfully poured out my heart. She listened with sympathy as I talked of my confusion and worries. I’ll never forget the moment she responded and told me this: The entire reason Christ suffered the atonement was so that we could lay our burdens at his feet and He will take them for us and make EVERYTHING perfectly RIGHT. In that moment, I physically felt a weight lift out of my chest. Relief flooded my body. After a lifetime of learning of Christ, a lightbulb I hadn’t ever quite understood suddenly came on. It was clear now. I was feeling overburdened because I was trying to do God’s job. 

Only Christ can judge injustices in perfect righteousness. He will examine all sides, all factors, all hearts involved. He will administer perfect justice and perfect mercy. He can do this perfectly because He suffered every sin, temptation, sickness, and heartache through His atonement – Thus He understands each of us perfectly. 

Now my heart could rest because I knew that Jesus would take care of everything. All I needed to do was trust Him. Trust that one day, those who wronged me would meet Him face to face and be held accountable for their actions. If they truly *repented, they would meet mercy. If they didn’t, they would meet justice. Either way, I didn’t need to worry about it anymore because Jesus would be the judge of that. He had it covered. I could finally let it go, forgive, leave the rest up to God, and move on. 

This scripture from the Bible always comes to mind when I think of this experience. Matthew 11:

 28 Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.

For anyone struggling with a burden - whether it be a grudge, a past hurt, a sin, or just worrying too much-I bear my testimony that Christ can help. If there is something you need to do, do what is in your power. After that, try giving your burden over to Christ. Lay them all down to Him in humble prayer. Trust that He can carry them because He knows and loves you perfectly. After all, He said Himself: Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Definitions taken from lds.org:

*Atonement: “The Atonement is the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to help us overcome sin, adversity, and death. Jesus’s atoning sacrifice took place in the Garden of Gethsemane and on the cross at Calvary. He paid the price for our sins, took upon Himself death, and was resurrected. The Atonement is the supreme expression of the love of Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.” (https://www.lds.org/youth/learn/yw/atonement/what?lang=eng)

*Repentance: “A change of mind and heart that brings a fresh attitude toward God, oneself, and life in general. Repentance implies that a person turns away from evil and turns his heart and will to God, submitting to God’s commandments and desires and forsaking sin. True repentance comes from a love for God and a sincere desire to obey his commandments. All accountable persons have sinned and must repent in order to progress toward salvation. Only through the atonement of Jesus Christ can our repentance become effective and accepted by God.” (https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/repent-repentance?lang=eng).